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Some days the jokes just write themselves...

Arnold Schwarzenegger is in talks to star in the action comedy reboot of The Toxic Avenger from Hot Tub Time Machine writer/director Steve Pink.

Fill in your own punchline here.

Saturday Night Live will have its season finale this Saturday (May 18th) and the episode will be the last for at least one long-time cast member. Bill Hader has announced that he will not be returning to the show next season.

Seth Meyers will also be leaving the show once he takes over Jimmy Fallon's spot on Late Night next year.

There is no truth to the rumor that Fallon and Meyers will form a late-nite block on TBS with Conan O'Brien when NBC replaces them both with an animatronic Jay Leno 3000.

Carrie Underwood is the cover story of June's Marie Claire magazine. Inside, she talks about not being ready to start a family, and she gives a good reason.

She said, "I don't feel old enough to have kids. I know I am mature. But being responsible for another human?"

Caution: DO NOT READ THIS WHILE EATING.

According to the Daily Mail, a new study finds that a woman may be carrying around a lot more in her purse than just lipstick. To find this, researchers from UK company Initial Washroom Hygiene swabbed women's handbags. They found that one in five purses had sufficient bacteria to pose a risk to human health, and that the dirtiest item found inside the average purse were bottles of hand moisturizer. The hand cream containers were found to house more bacteria than an average toilet seat!

Yikes!

This one will have you scratchin' your head.

The New York Post reported Tuesday (May 14th) that some wealthy people are hiring a disabled person to pose as a family member so that they can jump to the front of the long lines for rides at Disney World. Disney allows each guest who needs a wheelchair or motorized scooter to bring up to six guests to the front of lines, and these people are taking advantage of that policy for a price of $130 an hour or $1,040 for an eight-hour day. The newspaper cites one mother who said she hired a guide to escort her, her husband and their two young children through Disney World in a motorized scooter with a "handicapped" sign on it, and was able to go straight to the front of all the lines. She bragged, "My daughter waited one minute to get on 'It's a Small World,' the other kids had to wait two-and-a-half hours. You can't go to Disney without a tour concierge. This is how the one percent does Disney."